I got there ten minutes late and wanting to avoid a big entrance, I decided to go in the side door (this is only important because as a result, I totally did not see the sign that would have indicated what KIND of restaurant it was). Since I am pretty much an "eat at 5:30" person, I was starving by the time I arrived. Noting that they had already ordered hors devours, I decided I would wait until the main course to eat, because I was afraid I'd start snarfing down the appetizers like they were going out of style. (This logic totally made sense at the time). They chatted and ate up all the "starters" and then the waiter brought yet ANOTHER round. They were fancy hors devours - steak-po-something-french, funky mushrooms, oysters. They just kept coming, as did the wine. Each time they'd pass them to me and I'd say "no thanks - I'm not that hungry". Actually I was starving but I was still of the mindset that you shouldn't waste all your energy on appetizers. MORE hors devours come - seasoned potatoes, calamari melted in butter. Every time I refused a dish, my boss and board members looked at me more and more strangely. The woman next to me - who had been regaling me with tales of her 18 month bike ride over the Himalayas (at one point she said, in her most posh British accent - "you mean you've never BEEN to Tibet?") finally said, "Don't you eat ANYTHING?" By now it was after 8:00 - and suddenly it just dawned on me - this WAS the main course. It was a TAPAS restaurant, and I had must missed the entire meal. Obviously, the practical thing to do would have been to confess my ignorance, accept the humiliation with grace and eat whatever was left but they had already been teasing me (kindly) about being American and coming from Oklahoma and I was seriously too embarrassed - even though I could tell my boss was convinced I was anorexic. Still, the reality was, I was about to faint from hunger. There were still 3 more dishes making the rounds, and I couldn't help myself - I POUNCED on them. Seriously - I think the idea of tapas is that you have 2 or 3 bites of a lot of different dishes. But I took half the plate and DEVOURED it. When the next plate went by, the French steak thingy, they must have seen me eyeing it ravenously, and they hust gave me the whole plate and said "Here - you take it all". I was too happy to be mortified. They looked at me like I was a specimen in a weird insect exhibit. I DO think I made an impression - just not the kind my boss was HOPING I'd make. It will be a long time before I eat tapas again.
top 10 list # 4. While we're on the subject of eating out, another of my most memorable moments stemmed from my complete lack of culinary sophistication - and for that matter, my complete lack of sophistication in about EVERY area. Members of the board of Masicorp (the NGO that I work for) were visiting, and my boss wanted me to "schmooze" with them - presumably with the idea that I would make a favorable impression and they would want to give my project lots of money. To that end, he hosted a dinner at a restaurant in the upscale town of Nordhoek and told me to show up at 7:00.
I got there ten minutes late and wanting to avoid a big entrance, I decided to go in the side door (this is only important because as a result, I totally did not see the sign that would have indicated what KIND of restaurant it was). Since I am pretty much an "eat at 5:30" person, I was starving by the time I arrived. Noting that they had already ordered hors devours, I decided I would wait until the main course to eat, because I was afraid I'd start snarfing down the appetizers like they were going out of style. (This logic totally made sense at the time). They chatted and ate up all the "starters" and then the waiter brought yet ANOTHER round. They were fancy hors devours - steak-po-something-french, funky mushrooms, oysters. They just kept coming, as did the wine. Each time they'd pass them to me and I'd say "no thanks - I'm not that hungry". Actually I was starving but I was still of the mindset that you shouldn't waste all your energy on appetizers. MORE hors devours come - seasoned potatoes, calamari melted in butter. Every time I refused a dish, my boss and board members looked at me more and more strangely. The woman next to me - who had been regaling me with tales of her 18 month bike ride over the Himalayas (at one point she said, in her most posh British accent - "you mean you've never BEEN to Tibet?") finally said, "Don't you eat ANYTHING?" By now it was after 8:00 - and suddenly it just dawned on me - this WAS the main course. It was a TAPAS restaurant, and I had must missed the entire meal. Obviously, the practical thing to do would have been to confess my ignorance, accept the humiliation with grace and eat whatever was left but they had already been teasing me (kindly) about being American and coming from Oklahoma and I was seriously too embarrassed - even though I could tell my boss was convinced I was anorexic. Still, the reality was, I was about to faint from hunger. There were still 3 more dishes making the rounds, and I couldn't help myself - I POUNCED on them. Seriously - I think the idea of tapas is that you have 2 or 3 bites of a lot of different dishes. But I took half the plate and DEVOURED it. When the next plate went by, the French steak thingy, they must have seen me eyeing it ravenously, and they hust gave me the whole plate and said "Here - you take it all". I was too happy to be mortified. They looked at me like I was a specimen in a weird insect exhibit. I DO think I made an impression - just not the kind my boss was HOPING I'd make. It will be a long time before I eat tapas again.
1 Comment
Gwen
4/15/2012 03:56:13 pm
Jan, Sooooo fun reading your wonderful blog. You are such a great writer. Keep it up, girl! But I enjoy it so much more because I have been in most of the places and many situations you describe. It makes me long to come back, but I am so happy to be enjoying it again through your eyes and your writings. Love to you, dear friend
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AuthorJan O'C is - in no particular order: kind of geeky; a lover of mountains, good books, old movies, dogs (especially Moshe and Scout), Indian food and her family and friends; an adventurer; a teacher; an explorer; a lover of God - and more importantly, loved by Him! Archives
August 2013
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